I don’t know how much a Facebook post can do any level of justice for this wonderful man (who himself had deleted his Facebook and would be livid that this isn’t on Twitter), but it’s been giving me comfort reading about all the ways Courtney has touched people. So I hope to contribute a little to his loved ones’ comfort during this period of extreme grief.

I met Courtney when I was 16 years old, and I instantly looked up to him. On top of being a capable and charismatic leader in the program that became my home throughout high school and beyond, he took his endless achievements in stride and always strove to better the lives of those around him. He was kind, witty, and full of idealism and ambition in the best way. He guided me through Y&G and became a friend as well as source of inspiration.

Courtney was a huge reason for why I was so excited to be accepted into Cal. I was ecstatic for the chance to follow in the footsteps of one of my greatest role models, and he helped me every step of the way. From answering my frantic FaceTimes when I didn’t know how to choose classes to showing me around campus as a baby bear, I couldn’t imagine my transition to college without him.

As is often the case with friends from previous periods of life, our interactions grew more sporadic over our college years. My first year, we had a weekly “lunch bunch” in which he would shamelessly spend me and Joanna‘s meal points in a “Pay it Forward” system in which we willingly obliged, knowing that his time and advice were priceless and that he had done the same for those before him. Courtney constantly encouraged us to be our better selves, and told us that we could. I took my first data science class because of him, because he made me have faith in myself. He really believed in me.

The next year, new NJC freshmen joined the campus and we savored in spending their meal points instead. The guidance Courtney had selflessly provided in no way stopped. When I ended my stay with Y&G’s intern program, I was delighted to remain connected with the community through Courtney, who poured his heart and soul into it — as he did with everything.

The last time I saw Courtney was last summer when he visited New York, the summer of the Stonewall Riots’ 50th anniversary and the largest pride the city’s ever seen. We never got to chat more deeply about our common experience being bisexual, but his own courage and pride have encouraged me to be more comfortable with myself. It’s been a pleasure watching his seemingly endless new projects over the years, and it’s always put a smile on my face to see what #GayforTransitSF has been up to (which he co-ran with BART director Janice Li, ‘cause that’s just the kind of person he is).

Despite the challenging and competitive environment that is UC Berkeley, Courtney never forgot what his ideals were. He wanted wholeheartedly to change the world for the better, and I’m confident that he maintained this passion until the moment he passed. Whether it was through constitutional law or civic tech, I’ve always been sure he would do big things. I can safely say he’s done more in his short 22 years than most in their much longer lifetimes.

That’s not to say that Courtney was perfect (though I certainly used to think so). I have criticized him for, at times, being somewhat calculated, overly ambitious, and putting “Amateur Dog Walker” as a tagline on his website. I was annoyed that he made me send him calendar invites to hang out and roasted him for not taking more time off after he graduated because he “didn’t know how to chill.” He was an absolutely real person whose flaws made him who he was in addition to his countless positive traits. I’ll miss them just as much.

I am saddened that I did not keep in touch well with Courtney after he moved into the city, nor take him up on his offer to have lunch at Twitter. I regret that the last few text conversations we had were pertaining to Data 100 homework and how he didn’t show up to my party. Sometimes, we (humans, that is) don’t even realize how important someone is to us when life is happening. We take their continued existence for granted. I cannot even begin to explain how shocked I am at this news, how unfair it all is, the extent I’m unable to process it.

My heart goes out to Courtney’s family and friends. Though our grief is by no means equal, know that we’re all grieving together. Thank you so much to those who have reached out so far, I really appreciate it. The world has lost one of the greats of this generation, and at far, far too young. Rest In Peace Courtney 💖💜💙

— Erika Siao